My Challenge to defeat prostate and bone cancer

First Published 30 September 2023

Well, here I am again. Another blog about cancer but this time it’s me! It is more than 11.5 years since I added the final chapters to the “Wendy’s Army” blog, so this is very much Déjà Vu. I don’t know what I have done to upset those “upstairs” but they sure are making sure I get tested in this life. They managed to take Wendy, sadly, but they are not going to get me without the same degree of fight and determination shown by her.

As Wendy would be the first to acknowledge, these journeys cannot be undertaken alone. No cancer patient can undertake the trip without the support of loved ones.

As many will know, Kim and I being together at this stage in our lives is a story, which goes back over 30 years. Maybe we will tell that story at some point. So many have said we should!

I want to start this blog by acknowledging Kim, who is as up for the challenge of beating this cancer as I am. I simply could not do this without the caring nature of Kim, her inspiration to support me and lead the effort to get through this and we cannot wait for the day we will be told I’m in complete remission.

Kim is my rock! She is right here with me, and I couldn’t be a luckier man to be facing this with her. I love her with all my heart and, together, we are going to be successful in fighting and defeating this disease!

Before I start to tell the story and start the journey, let me explain why I have created this blog. There are three main reasons:

  1. Firstly, and most importantly, the majority of my family, my friends and my former colleagues are now aware of my diagnosis. Naturally, they all wish to be kept informed about my ongoing treatment and, rather than constantly tell people individually, it makes sense to keep everybody that wishes to be kept up to date informed on a consistent basis. When recounting detail, it is very easy to forget what you have said and to whom.
  2. I find it very cathartic. Telling the story gives me the chance to reflect on what is happening, rather than just repeating facts about the treatment and, just as importantly, some of those reading the blog will have people they know that have been on the same, or a similar journey. I think sharing experiences is so valuable and I have already found others that have been able to provide valuable insights and connections, which I will cover later.
  3. Thirdly, I’m not the only one undertaking this type of cancer journey. I have already met other men who have experienced prostate cancer and there will be many more in the future. My experience may just help other guys on their own journey. In Australia, over 24,000 men are diagnosed with prostate cancer each year, with 1 in 5 men at risk of being diagnosed before they turn 85. And it is far from being confined to Australia. In the UK, Prostate cancer is the most common cancer in men. More than 52,000 men are diagnosed with prostate cancer every year on average – that’s 144 men every day. Every 45 minutes one man dies from prostate cancer – that’s more than 12,000 men every year.

  • Still keeping my cancers at arms length!!

    Kim & I visited Gary Tincknell, my oncologist, this morning for the quarterly ckeckin. I had my bloods taken last Friday. The 90 minute journey in torrential rain and high winds, followed by a 60 min delay, as Gary was runnng very late with his appointments, was all so worthwhile. Gary revealed that my PSA

    Continue reading this update

  • Had another oncology review today!

    At the risk of boring you all, I spoke to my oncologist earlier and he and I were delighted with the latest blood tests, which continue to show my PSA at 0.01. As you will know by now, this means the prostate cancer remains undetectable. There couldn’t be better news. I have devcided to change

    Continue reading this update

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Let’s remember that Kim and I have only been together for 2 years. We have been so happy in our retirement in our new home and surroundings with our animals and those all around us. The first day we moved in a King Parrot came to see us. We started to feed it sunflower seeds from our hands, and it has come back pretty much continuously since. He seldom comes these days without his partner. They pair for life.

So, how was I going to break the news to Kim?

I had been at the surgery for quite a while. The nurse was running late, as was Dr Burt. My time with her was, naturally, longer than the standard appointment. I was around 20 mins from home when the phone rang in the car. Kim was getting worried I had been gone so long. I reassured her I was nearly home and had been delayed by the nurse and doctor running late, which is far from unusual. As I put the car in the garage, which we always do due to the damage that can be caused by the sun, the dogs, as usual, came charging in, glad to see me home. They are both so affectionate and love to jump up when we return home.

The dogs and I walked into the kitchen and Kim, and I had a hug. When she called me when in the car, I had told her everything was fine, and the nurse and doctor were happy with me. Whilst hugging her I said “I wasn’t quite telling the truth on the phone, I have been diagnosed with stage 4 secondary bone cancer and whilst it is to be confirmed, the primary is probably in my prostate.

I will leave it to you to imagine how that must have felt for us both. Together for 2 years, blissfully happy in love and this news, right out of the blue. It was an intensely emotional moment. All the usual questions come up, why us, what have we done to deserve this? Obviously, there are no answers, just more questions.