My Challenge to defeat prostate and bone cancer

First Published 30 September 2023

Well, here I am again. Another blog about cancer but this time it’s me! It is more than 11.5 years since I added the final chapters to the “Wendy’s Army” blog, so this is very much Déjà Vu. I don’t know what I have done to upset those “upstairs” but they sure are making sure I get tested in this life. They managed to take Wendy, sadly, but they are not going to get me without the same degree of fight and determination shown by her.

As Wendy would be the first to acknowledge, these journeys cannot be undertaken alone. No cancer patient can undertake the trip without the support of loved ones.

As many will know, Kim and I being together at this stage in our lives is a story, which goes back over 30 years. Maybe we will tell that story at some point. So many have said we should!

I want to start this blog by acknowledging Kim, who is as up for the challenge of beating this cancer as I am. I simply could not do this without the caring nature of Kim, her inspiration to support me and lead the effort to get through this and we cannot wait for the day we will be told I’m in complete remission.

Kim is my rock! She is right here with me, and I couldn’t be a luckier man to be facing this with her. I love her with all my heart and, together, we are going to be successful in fighting and defeating this disease!

Before I start to tell the story and start the journey, let me explain why I have created this blog. There are three main reasons:

  1. Firstly, and most importantly, the majority of my family, my friends and my former colleagues are now aware of my diagnosis. Naturally, they all wish to be kept informed about my ongoing treatment and, rather than constantly tell people individually, it makes sense to keep everybody that wishes to be kept up to date informed on a consistent basis. When recounting detail, it is very easy to forget what you have said and to whom.
  2. I find it very cathartic. Telling the story gives me the chance to reflect on what is happening, rather than just repeating facts about the treatment and, just as importantly, some of those reading the blog will have people they know that have been on the same, or a similar journey. I think sharing experiences is so valuable and I have already found others that have been able to provide valuable insights and connections, which I will cover later.
  3. Thirdly, I’m not the only one undertaking this type of cancer journey. I have already met other men who have experienced prostate cancer and there will be many more in the future. My experience may just help other guys on their own journey. In Australia, over 24,000 men are diagnosed with prostate cancer each year, with 1 in 5 men at risk of being diagnosed before they turn 85. And it is far from being confined to Australia. In the UK, Prostate cancer is the most common cancer in men. More than 52,000 men are diagnosed with prostate cancer every year on average – that’s 144 men every day. Every 45 minutes one man dies from prostate cancer – that’s more than 12,000 men every year.
  • I have been feeling really good! I had my bloods checked on 10 October, the day before I was due to have my second session of chemo the following day. My white blood cell count had recovered sufficiently from the normal dip following the first chemo session. My day 10 bloods following session one were

    Continue reading this update

  • Since my last update: The meeting with Bill, the cancer nurse at Milton & Ulladulla Cancer Centre went well. I had had my bloods taken immediately before the meeting, so Bill did not have these available. However, he had seen the ones taken on day 10 (19 October) after the second chemo session on 11

    Continue reading this update

  • I had my pre chemo bloods taken on Tuesday 21 November. I had my fourth chemo session on Wednesday morning 22 November. The nursing team confirmed they had the blood results through and everything was looking good. They had obviously read Dr Gary Tinckner’s note from my review meeting with him on Friday 17 November

    Continue reading this update

  • The last three weeks, since the 4th chemo session, have been quite quiet on the health front, thankfully. My stomach has been a little less tolerant of the chemo, as expected. I’ve taken around 6-8 imodium to help, whereas I had previously only had to take a couple. The cancer nurse, when I discussed it

    Continue reading this update

  • On Wednesday 3 January I had my sixth, and optimistically my last, chemo session. My bloods, taken the day before, were all normal and the session proceeded exactly as previous ones, no issues. That night, however, I could not sleep at all. The phrase often used by the cancer team is “wired”. I could not

    Continue reading this update

  • Earlier today I had my scheduled appointments with Gary Tincknell, Medical Oncologist, and Stephen Chin Radiology Oncologist. I met Gary first and he had the blood results taken last Friday, 9 February which, sadly coincided with the 12th anniversary of Wendy’s passing. I could tell from his smile that the news was good! When measured

    Continue reading this update

  • It has now been just over 4 months since my last chemo session. It was suggested to me that it can take from six to 12 months for the chemicals to fully leave my system. From my perspective I feel this will be nearer the shorter end of that timeframe. I have been feeling really

    Continue reading this update

  • I had a telephone meeting with my medical oncologist, Gary Tinknell, on Tuesday last week. He remains very pleased with my progress. He had my blood results from late the previous week. They showed that my PSA remains at 0.01 and told me there are three levels within that score and I had dropped two,

    Continue reading this update

  • Having had my bloods taken last Friday, Kim and I visited my oncologist, Dr Gary Tinknell, this morning. My PSA score remains at 0.01, the lowest it can possibly be. He and we were delighted with the continued good news. It is not just the medication that is sustaining this momentum, but the holistic approach

    Continue reading this update

  • I have had a call with Gary Tincknell, my oncologist, following my latest set of blood tests. He said “cancer in your prostate is “undetectable”, which means the PSA score remains at 0.01 for the fourth consecutive quarter. There is no need to amend my medications, just keep doing what I have been. He will

    Continue reading this update

Space

A week ago today, Saturday 30 September, our dream started to unfold. We had agreed that rehoming Kim’s horses was the right thing to do, as was moving home. We got a call from the lady that had agreed to take our beautiful 33 year-old Palomino pony, Kirra. I think it was the first time we had realised the reality of what we were doing, and it was not easy to cope with, at that moment. Debbie waled the half kilometre from her house to ours to collect her. Kim and Debbie walked back with Kirra and I followed in our ute with various “kit” that was to accompany Kirra in her new home.

Surprisingly, when we got to Debbie’s home, she just opened the gate and led Kirra into the paddock where Debbie’s existing ponies were. You can imagine the commotion and excitement of the initial introduction. All four ponies started running loose and Kim and I were worried for Kirra. She was not used to that level of exercise, and, at her age, we felt it was ill advised. But things settled, eventually!

We left Debbie to feed the horses, by which time some sort of normality had returned and, apart from lots of snorting, the ponies were starting to get acquainted with each other.

So, you can imagine our surprise and horror on the following Wednesday, to see an item pop up on the local community Facebook page to say there was a horse loose on Bawley Point Road, with a picture of Kirra. We immediately jumped in the ute to see if we could find and catch her. By the time we saw her Debbie had her in hand and a van from the Local Council was escorting the pair of them, with hazard lights flashing, back to Debbie’s home! Apparently, Debbie had left a gate open and whilst her horses had gone to the house, Kirra had made a quick exit off the property. We have often referred to Kirra as Houdini as she sees any sign of an opening as an invitation to her to escape and go explore.

We knew that Jack and Indie would be collected on Tuesday 3 October. We found out, the previous day, they would be collected and shipped in a specialist horse transporter and the driver would be with us around 06.30. Kim was delighted with the timing as the weather forecast for the day was showing maximum temperatures of 33c, which is far from ideal for transporting horses. Steve duly arrived at 06.15.

Kim knew that Jack was not going to be easy to handle when it came to encouraging him to board the truck. Neither he nor Indie had been anywhere near transportation for two years. In anticipation, Kim had organised for Adrian, a natural horseman, who had worked with the horses with Kim, to be available to help. Adrian was accompanied by Talya, who works with him, who has stayed with us to look after the horses and dogs when we have gone away for a few days. Steve already had two horses on board as he had just collected them from nearby Willinga Park. As they would be offloaded before Jack and Indie, he took them off the transporter prior to loading our two.

Indie went on with little effort. Steve put her in her pen easily. Jack was having none of it, not a bar of it! He was snorting, backing up and generally railing against the whole proposition. Adrian was holding Jack and tried to calm him, with little success. They had a rope around his backside, much as I have seen it done at race meetings when they try to get the occasional obstinate horse into the starting frame. I could see Steve, who was anxious to get on the road, was starting to get a little impatient. He went to his cab, at Adrian’s invitation, to retrieve a crop. He waved it around the back of Jack so that Jack could hear it. He did not, at any point, touch Jack with it. Indie, who is the love of Jack’s life, started to call out and this helped Jack realise she was on the truck. After a few minutes, he calmly walked into the transporter and Steve was able to put him in his pen next to Indie. Calmness returned! The other horses were soon reinstalled and off they went. It seemed like the whole matter took ages, but Steve was in and out in 30 minutes.

It was very emotional for Kim and, to be honest, me. Kim has looked after the horses so well in the two years they have been in her care. They, particularly Jack, are different animals for the love and care they have been lavished with. The farrier, Graham, came to attend to them for the last time, a few days before they departed. He told Kim she should be so proud of the condition of all three horses, and they were a credit to her for the way she has cared for them.

Kim doesn’t see this as the end of her dream to own horses. She sees it as an opportunity for them to go on to do much more important work. It is the start of a new chapter for Kim and I, and the same very much applies to the horses. They have gone to a lady and her daughter, who run an equine therapy centre. They already have two horses working with them. Jack and Indie would not have been right for this work two years ago but because of Kim’s work with them during the intervening period, this will be a great opportunity for them. It was so sad to see them leave and every time we come back up the drive, we immediately notice they are not here. That starts all the emotions flowing again but we know it was the right thing for them and us.

So, that was a busy and emotional start to Tuesday!

I had booked Kim’s car in for it’s Rego check, the equivalent of the MOT in the UK, at 9am that same morning. It’s only a 20 min drive, the check took 10 mins, and I was back home well before 10am.

Kim and I then drove to Milton Cancer Care Centre for a 11am appointment with Bill, the cancer care nurse, who looks after all the cancer patients at the centre. He visits once a week.

I had had my day 10 bloods taken on Friday 29 September and Bill had the results. The good news was that they were exactly as he expected them to be, there was no bad news! My PSA, which was originally 13, had dropped to 9.5. The was clear evidence that the first session of chemo was working as hoped and expected. We had a general chat about how I was feeling. The only effcct I have experienced was, for about 3 or 4 days, slight nausea. However, once I took one of the tablets I had been given, precisely for this purpose, I quickly felt better. Not something I have to take all the time, so far I have only used 3 tablets.

On Wednesday 4 October I saw Anthony Liddell, an acupuncturist, in Bateman’s Bay, which is around 30 mins drive south from Bawley Point. He was a very interesting, and very experienced practitioner. We had a conversation about my condition, and he asked me what I hoped to achieve. I said I was happy with my medical treatment, that I was following the recommendation of my naturopath (I shared her “plan” for me, and that I was looking to “balance my body to give it the best chance of beating the cancer. He had a number of cancer patients and felt confident that a holistic approach to my treatment was a great way to go. I had my first treatment, which I found remarkably relaxing. He also spoke to Kim, whilst I was lying down, about various mushrooms that he felt could help. He acknowledged these were in part, covered by the naturopath plan. We will keep this under review, and I have my second appointment on 12 October. I think this is a worthwhile addition to my regime.

On Friday 8 October, Kim and I drove to Nowra for my first oncology review meeting with Dr Gary Tincknell. This was my first meeting with Gary. You may recall he was the doctor that Dr Helen Nicholson, the prostate oncologist had wanted me to see, but he was on holiday for 4 weeks. He was back in the UK visiting family in and around Reading, where he grew up.

He is a nice guy and Kim and I felt I was in good hands. He reviewed the file with us, but we didn’t learn anything substantial we hadn’t heard earlier in the week from Bill, but it allowed me to start to build a relationship with him. He 100% agreed with the medical treatment prescribed and would see me again in 6 weeks to monitor progress. My overall feeling was that Kim, and I are doing everything we can to support my treatment, which he fully supported. His only caveat was that if we change anything we should let him know, as was very keen to ensure we don’t do anything inadvertently to detract from his medical treatment regime, particularly the chemo, which is so important.

When we finished with Gary, we spoke to Nitika, the nutritionist. We went through my diet and, overall, she felt Kim, and I were doing a good job with the changes we had made. She was particularly pleased that alcohol had no part in my life now. There is increasing evidence in research that shows alcohol is “loved” by cancer cells. It is a big no, no for cancer patients. She was also a little concerned that my weight had dropped. It’s ok but not advisable that I lose too much more. She felt we should bring some carbohydrates back into my diet, not a lot, but sufficient to keep me at a healthy weight. She recommended that I look after my body as much as I can as this will reduce any chemo side effects and improve the effectiveness of the treatment. I need to give myself the best chance and rebalancing my food intake would be beneficial.

The only downside to the week? I noticed my hair was getting thinner and wispy. After I had a shower yesterday it was obvious, I was starting to lose my hair. It was coming out in quite sizeable chunks. Kim suggested we trim it back to make it less of an issue. However, this morning, it was clear that some large gaps were staring to appear. So, out came the clippers and we shaved it right back! I’ve never had such short hair! My nan, who used to twist my, then, blond hair into ringlets would be mortified to see my hair like this. My mum too. But hey, it’s only for about six months and then hopefully it will grow back. I sort of feel now how brother Barry and my dad felt when they faced the inevitable – the difference is, mine will grow back!!!

Next Steps

  • Tuesday 10 October – pre chemo blood tests
  • Wednesday 11 October – 2nd chemo session
  • Thursday 12 October – Acupuncturist